When I told the world years ago that I was intersex, the most common question was “what’s in your pants”. I mean, I really can’t blame them especially the ones that knew me since I was a young kid just starting school in the 1980s. The problem for me wasn’t necessarily bearing what I had, rather I didn’t think it mattered. What was down there had no impact on my personality, my gifts and talents or my looks. However with a severe case of body dysmorphia looming over me night and day, I was hesitant to bear all.
Most of those that asked were just curious but I quickly realized that the rest were out to get their fetish satisfied. I am not a fetish or a sex object so I erected this wall to better protect myself from the world around me. As I started to do my videos on intersex, speaking out against fake transgenders, and doing my radio show I found more and more criticism coming my way. Haters especially saying because I was raised male, I am male… despite the chromosomes or the ability to reproduce. I was a way to coerce me to showing them what I had.
They believed I had a normal size penis, and my body was your typical male body playing dress up, but it had no base in reality. Transgenders hated me for my ability to look as I do without surgery, while the TERFS as they call them hated me because they thought I was mocking them and invading women’s spaces. How can I invade women’s spaces when I am biologically female? How does a small birth defect negate that I have a uterus, ovaries and no testicles or prostate?
I have dealt with this for years. I grew so anxious that I even doubted myself. I bought season passes to Adventure Island, Busch Gardens and Sea World. These were awesome because as a kid I went to these parks, I just couldn’t wait to hear my dad say on Friday night “we’re going to _____ tomorrow”. Usually it was Adventure Island so this place has a special place in my heart; but getting in a bikini or bathing suit in front of all those people was a big NOPE!
So over the years I have worn a bikini but I did it in places that had very little population and I covered myself well. This memorial day weekend however I planned on going to the beach. A place that would not be people scarce to say the least. So I went to the store, got a cute bikini and put it on to go to the beach. I took a photo of myself to post on social and it was easily one of my most liked photos of all time.
Here is the photo. I can assure you I have not had any surgery, I do not tuck (too small), and I do not have on special gaff underwear because you would see it. However, this is me bearing all without nudity. If this doesn’t silence my haters then nothing will.
LETS GO SURFING!
